I'm Still Here
by kristoferrobbin
Summary: Slightly AU-ish. When all Regina sees left for her is the end, she does what she must to keep whats left of herself together. SwanQueen, of course. Rated T for future dark themes. Read & Review please!
1. Chapter 1

Regina Mills sat idly by in her dark living room staring blankly at her flat screen TV, as The Breakfast Club played for the third time. Somewhere along the lines of sobbing hysterically and joyously singing along to 'Don't You (Forget About Me)', an emptiness had crept its way deep into her heart.

It was just a movie, she thought. There's no reason to be crying over a movie, because what did it have to do with her anyway? Claire Standish certainly wasn't like her in any way. But she was, wasn't she?

After delivering her sweet undoing in the form of a goodbye to the Sheriff's Station, she'd moseyed her way back to her lonely mansion, making sure to take the back streets, of course. And when she'd arrived, she found that 'The Breakfast Club' DVD was laying on her coffee table.

It was Emma's favorite movie, Henry had told her, and she never saw it. Never even heard of it, but she bought it anyway because any chance that she'd get to be that much closer to Emma Swan, she'd take. And that's all that this was about, her dear Miss Swan. So Regina Mills shut the drapes in her living room on that stormy gray evening, sank down into the couch, and watched The Breakfast Club.

The first time she hated it. But as she was too tired to move, Regina stayed seated and waited for the movie to play again. The second time she cried, because Claire Standish really was just like her. And John Bender was just like Emma Swan. And after all of their anger and hatred towards each other, they still got their happy ending.

John Bender had walked away, shoving his fist into the air because 'hell yeah, he got the girl". So it was only natural for Emma to walk away shoving her fist into the air because she had won Regina's heart.

Except it wasn't natural at all, not really. She was an Evil Queen, and Emma Swan was the daughter of her enemy and the birth mother of her son. Logic says that they were destined to hate each other. But who cared about logic when your heart was on the line? Certainly not Regina.

She'd defy the laws of logic and gravity and all of the other invisible forces in the world to have Emma shoving her fist into the air, because 'hell yeah, she had gotten the girl'. But this wasn't like the movies, and this was certainly no fairytale. Not for her at least.

This was more so one of those dramatic tragedies where the protagonist continuously makes all of the wrong choices because they were dealt a bad hand, and you're screaming at the TV for them to fail because they'd ruined everyone else's life, and you jump for joy when they do.

Yes, Regina had realized, that was exactly what her life was like. But still, she thought, it would have been nice to kiss her just once. And it would have been nice to hug her and hold her, and whisper sweet nothings into her ear. It would have been wonderful to love Emma Swan, and receive her love in return.

That's when the sobbing began, and Regina was reminded that dreams and happy endings were certainly not for people like her. It seemed that Mother was right, love was definitely a weakness. Because of her love for Emma and Henry, Regina lay shaking and crying like a child in her living room, all from a movie.

Yes, love had ruined her. That's what had gotten her here. Because Regina loved and loved and loved, she lay here dying. This felt like dying, she thought. It's true that love's labors are lost. She tried to be better, she thought, and for what? For a woman she loved that would never love her in return, and a son for whom she'd give her life that hated her. This was not what love was supposed to feel like, she decided sourly. Well damn them all to hell, because she'd tried and they still didn't love her, not even a little bit.

And she wanted to hate them, because if she hated them then it would be easier to leave. But there was still a part of her that kept waiting for Emma to show up on her doorstep with Henry in tow, for them to insist that she stay because families stay together. What a thought, she snarled bitterly.

The precious Charmings were off gallivanting around with her true love and her son, and they were a family that she was not a part of. She'd do better just leaving them all behind, because that way Emma and Henry would be happy.

But she wanted to curse them for daring to be happy without her. How dare they just leave her alone, to be gone with the wind. And so the hysterics commenced, and Regina truly believed death to better than what she was feeling at that moment.

No, she needn't worry. All she had to do was keep breathing. Her plan was already secured, that was why she had gone through with the letter in the first place. She would leave before dawn, before Henry went to school and before Emma found her letter. Regina Mills was finally going to leave the Evil Queen behind.

All that was left now was the message she'd received, and the ticking of the grand clock on the wall. But as Regina read through the message on her phone one last time, she couldn't help but think of how nice it would have been to have Emma thrust her fist into the air, just for her.

**New Text Message **

**January 23****rd****, 2013 3:12am **

**From 201-622-1949: **

It's time.

**A/N: So what do you guys think? Should I continue this story? Let me know what you think, reviews are much appreciated!**


	2. Chapter 2

The hardest thing, Regina had realized, was leaving behind her history. Not only was she leaving behind the people she loved in leaving Storybrooke, but she was also leaving behind herself. But maybe that was good for her, to be able to start anew. Not that she had much time for a new start. Stealing a glance at herself in her rear view mirror, she new that she had not much time at all. The tints of green magic were now visible in the bags under her eyes, and in the hollow of her cheeks.

You can tell that I'm dying, Regina thought. She had very little time. There were tasks to be completed, and she had less than a month to complete them. It seemed selfish to her, to not tell Henry and Emma of her condition.

As if they would care. Nonetheless, if they'd managed to find her, it might be too late for them to say goodbye. But if they had wanted to see her, they would have come. They new that she was innocent, and neither of the two even dared to grace her with their presence. Although maybe, now that they were going to find out who she truly was . . . Maybe now they'd love her. Because now she wasn't really the spawn of evil, and she was manipulated her whole life and she was doing something good with her last few days. Maybe they would come and find her, before she passed. And she'd get to see them one last time. Yes, Regina thought, I'll see them again, and I'll get to say goodbye. It was better that way, because if Regina had seen their faces, she wouldn't have been able to leave. This was good for her, to be alone for now.

With one final glance at her home, Regina pulled out of her driveway and drove away into the early sunrise.

* * *

"Henry! Come on, we're gonna be late for the appointment with the caterer!" Emma

yelled from the bottom of the stairs. She checked her watch for the third time in the last five minutes.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Henry came charging down the stairs, almost falling over on the way down.

"Easy there, kid. Don't wanna break anything before the party, do you?" Emma said as she ushered Henry out of the apartment.

"Of course not! I can't wait to see the look on Mom's face, I hope she'll love it. Do you think she'll forgive us?" The blonde mother sighed.

"We can only hope so. Hopefully a dinner party is a good enough apology." Henry ran down the walkway to the beat up yellow bug. He winced as the door creaked as he opened it.

"You should really get that checked out, it sounds like its about to fall off."

* * *

Emma rushed into the Sheriffs' station from the now pouring rain. They'd been half way to the station and the sky had literally opened up. Some freaking luck, she thought. Hurrying over to the interrogation room, she failed to notice the envelope on her desk.

Emma grabbed the grocery list off of the table and ran back out into her station, stumping her foot on the desk on the way back.

"Mother fucker! Son of a bitch, oh my god!" She cursed, hobbling on one foot and holding the other. The small envelope fell to the floor in front of her. What's

this, Emma wondered.

Regaining her balance on both feet, the blonde sheriff bent to pick up the later and sat down on her desk. To Emma, it read. She immediately recognized it as Regina's handwriting. What could this be, Emma thought as she ripped open the envelope. It was a letter, with an ancient looking key at the bottom of the envelope.

Regina wrote me a letter, she thought. Should she read it? Of course she should open, it would be rude not to. After all, Regina had taken the time to write it, so she absolutely had to read it. But what if it said something horrible?

What if Regina was stating her undying hatred for her, and declaring war on her and the Charmings? Wasn't her mother here, somewhere? Regina could be siding with Cora . . . . No, she wouldn't do that to Henry.

But, Henry had betrayed her, and so had she. They abandoned Regina when she was trying so hard to be good. Did they really deserve her forgiveness at all? No, thinking poorly of Regina is what got her into this mess in the first place. She's a good woman, she loves her son. And who was she to judge Regina anyway?

Her past had certainly been less than plausible as well, so really they were two fish of the same pond. Yes, she'd read the letter. Emma would have faith in Regina, even if Regina didn't have faith in herself..

_Dear Miss Swan,_

_ I've never been one for cowardice, but I simply cant bring myself to face you.__Emma Swan, you are without a doubt the most irritating, insufferable, meddling, life ruining woman that I have ever met. And even so, you've somehow still managed to have me falling for you. I know what you must think, that this is some ruse in a ploy to steal Henry from you. But it isn't, I wish with all my being that it was, but it isn't. For some reason completely lost to me, I have come to care for you in ways that even I don't understand. I don't know how this has come to happen, and I believe that's what angers me the most. To be honest I didn't think that I had much of a heart left to love (yes, love Ms. Swan) anyone romantically ever again. _

_ After Daniel , (I've decided that I am finally going to __tell you everything because as the woman I love I believe that you deserve to __know who I truly am. Please try not to be too disappointed) I was so utterly __broken. I was merely out of my teenage years, and I'd fallen for a stable boy. __At the time I thought that he was my true love, but now I find that I had just __loved him, and not been in love with him. Nevertheless, he was so very dear to __my heart. In all of the horrors of my life, Daniel helped me in ways that I __couldn't begin to explain. He was my first friend, and he believed in me when no __one else did._

_ Cora was a cruel woman, as you well know, and she'd hurt me in so many ways. I don't know how I managed to survive all that she had put me through. There were so many mornings that I'd woken up wishing that I hadn't. I just wanted to disappear, escape to a far away place where she couldn't get to me. But I never disappeared. There was one day that I'd wanted to drift away the most of all. My thirteenth birthday. Cora took me to a whore house. She'd said that it was time for me to become a woman, and left me in a room with an enormous, dastardly man. I will not write down what he did to me, I fear that rehashing the horrific details before the devils eyes will bring about long forgotten nightmares. And that coward of a man, Henry Mills, (whom I somehow still managed to love) never did a thing to stop her. But I forgot about all of it with Daniel, I __could be someone other than the property of Cora Mills. _

_ This is how I'd come to meet your mother. I want you to know that there was a time when I'd loved Snow White. When she was a young girl, I had cared for her very much. But things changed very quickly, and I was unable to do anything to stop it. I'll leave it to Snow to tell you the full story, this is my goodbye to you and I cant afford __to spend it talking about that woman. I apologize for burdening you with my life __story, but I need you to know now more than ever that I did not want my life to __come to what it has. I had hopes and dreams, once upon a time. I had innocence. B__ut it was all taken from me, everything. I was abandoned in a cruel world to __fend for myself, with not a clue of what the world really was. Snow White had __taken my love from me. I know my choices were my own, but I can never forgive __her. She took the only person that has ever loved me away. And to make matters __worse, she gave birth to you, the savior, with your brash ways and horrid sense __of fashion and I fell completely and whole heartedly in love with you. It's as __if she knew I would love you, and gave birth to you just to spite me. Nevertheless, I seem to find that I can hate her a tad less knowing that she brought you into my life. And as difficult as it has been, it truly has been a pleasure to know you Ms. Swan. Emma. I realize that I've never called you by your name before, and for that I must apologize. I never imagined that something as trivial as saying a persons name would matter to me so much. But you're much more than some person, aren't you? I'd like to apologize for all of the fights that we've had, but the prided part of me will not allow it. After making myself __this vulnerable to you, I must maintain some shred of dignity. But honestly Emma, it is quite rude to barge into someone's life and take their child. I know that Henry is your son, but you could have at least recognized the fact that I have been the sole mother figure in his life for the past eleven years. He's my son just as much as he is yours, and you just took him from me. I don't understand why everyone is so keen on leaving me alone. Well, you've certainly followed in your mother's foot steps. You've single handedly left me in ruins, and for some strange reason I still love you. Why do I still love you, Emma? I don't know how you have done this to me. I really wish you hadn't, because it was so much easier to hate you. I tried so very hard to. But I've grown tired of fighting losing battles._

_ I'm sure that by now you know of my innocence in the matter of Dr. Hopper's __"death". I must admit that I was hurt, when you came to my home that afternoon.__I'd thought you understood that I wanted to change for Henry. And although you __hadn't known it, I wanted to change for you as well. But in the end you just __left me like all of the others. I can't really blame you, considering who I am. __I just wish it could have been different with you, I wish with all my heart that __you could have been the one to stay with me through it all. I dreamt that you __would be my savior. But now I realize that dreams are not for people like myself._

_ However, no matter what you'd do, my heart would still be yours. It has been since the day at the mines. Through all of the turmoil I was feeling, you were there by my side to save our son. And I thought of how easy it would have been to just fall into your arms and let everything go. I thought of how easy it'd be to just cry and have you hold me and tell me that everything was going to be okay. I had wanted that so badly, to just be held by you, suspended in your love and security. When pigs fly, I presume is your train of thought. I now realize that it was foolish of me to ever entertain such thoughts. How could the product of true love, love someone as evil as me? I am not deserving of you __in the slightest, and I know that. So I'd pushed you away time and time again. I'm quite the actress, wouldn't you agree? I should receive an Oscar for all of the effort I put in to keep my feelings a secret. I resisted all of the temptation that you threw my way. It was so hard not to smile back when you would smile at me, or laugh at your perverted and disastrous sense of humor. It was even harder to pretend that I didn't find you to be the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. I had to restrain myself constantly to not stare too long. And I hated when I would stand too close to you, because you smell of honey and I do so love honey. There were so many occasions when I wanted to just pull you close to me and hold you and kiss you all over and tell you how gorgeous I truly think you are. But I believe the hardest thing for me was to not touch your hair. It looks of freshly spun gold, and I had wanted to touch it at least once. I'm sure it feels of silk. Here I am rambling about your beauty, who would've imagined that? I assure you this is not what I had in mind of writing to you. Although, I suppose I'll leave this the way it is because a woman of your stature should hear of her beauty everyday._

_ There are many things that I've found out in the time since you broke the curse. The first being that Cora and Henry Mills are not my parents, and that Regina Mills does not exist. My mother was a gypsy named Esmeralda, and my father a soldier named Phoebus. I was stolen from them as a baby by Cora, who raised me as "her own". Cora's true daughter, Alice, was dying when they stole me away. They needed someone to carry her heart and fill it with magic in order for her to survive, and everyone knows that gypsies are born with magic. She went to Rumplestiltskin, and together they manipulated my entire life so that I'd make all of the wrong choices to become the Evil Queen. The true reason that Cora is trying to find me is that she wants to take back her daughter's heart. But I cannot allow this. There are many things that I must do, including finding my own heart. I wonder if I'll still love you when my heart is restored to me. Because it's not really me who is in love with you, is it? The heart inside of me that quickens at the sight of you isn't truly my own, so does that mean that Alice loves you? I don't know, I don't know anything really, and that's why I have to go. I know how this all must sound, but you must believe that this is all true. I can't tell you how i've I come by this information, it would endanger you along with Henry, just please trust me. If there comes a time when my duties are fulfilled and I am still able to live, I will return to you. But don't count on that, I don't know what the future holds for me, and for all I know I may die tomorrow._

_ I believe that I should bring this to an end. I fear that if I continue confessing all of my hearts desires I won't be able to leave you behind. Please tell Henry that I am so very proud of him. Tell him that I love him more than life itself, and that no matter what heart I have in me, I'll always know him as my son. Our son. I love you, Emma. You're one hell of a savior, because you've managed to save me without even trying. You have finally set me free, and for that I will be eternally grateful. I wish you all the happiness in the world, and I hope you find your true love one day. These are my final words to you, please remember them well. Goodbye my dear Miss Swan, it was lovely to have known you._

_Forever Yours,_

_Regina _

_PS - Henry will know what the key opens._


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you for the wonderful responses I received on the last chapter, I'm glad you all liked the chapter. Hopefully this one doesn't disappoint. Be ware, there is angst ahead!**

Emma swan had lost many things in her life. She had lost her son, her parents, her supposed "true love", and her home. And all had hurt her in different ways. But this, this wasn't like any kind of pain Emma Swan had felt before. It didn't make any sense, because Regina and her weren't even friends, not even acquaintances. So really, it shouldn't have hurt at all. Except, Regina raised her child, and that alone brought out a profound care for the other woman. And they fought like cats and dogs, but it just meant that they meant something to each other because if someone means nothing to you, what's the point in fighting them? It was obvious really, and Emma felt like a fool for not having realized it sooner. Of course Regina had loved her, that day at the mines she'd looked ready to fall into her arms. And when Regina had punched her in the face, it was only because Emma just kept hurting her over and over again. She wasn't angry at Emma for stealing Graham, she was angry because Emma had feelings for him.

And when she'd told Regina that she'd only invited her out because of Henry, she looked ready to cry. And she had saved her life, she'd absorbed shit tons of magic to save her life, along with her mother whom she hated more than anyone in the world. And they had made magic, for fucks sake! They'd literally made magic, and Emma had just realized that Regina was in love with her. And now it was too late. Too late for what, Emma thought.

Too late to tell Regina that she loved her too? No, because that would be ridiculous. She didn't love Regina, she couldn't love Regina. Regardless of the fact that she thought that Regina was the most gorgeous woman she had ever seen. But everyone thought that Regina was beautiful. That didn't mean that she was in love with her. How could she be in love with someone that would just leave her and their son? That's right, Emma seethed, Regina left their son with out so much as a goodbye. Goddamn the letter, she didn't even say goodbye to her! I mean Henry, she thought hurriedly. After all that they'd went through, Regina had just left ... No, she wouldn't be sad for her.

Damn her to hell or whatever bad place fairy tale characters believe in, she wouldn't waste one more thought on that woman. She had some nerve to just walk out of their lives the way she did. She didn't even say goodbye...

"Mom?" Emma snapped out of her reverie, dropping the letter in the process.

"Henry, I told you to wait in the car." The boy slowly stepped closer to his mother.

"I wanted to see what was taking you so long. What's that?" Emma quickly bent down to pick up the letter.

"This? Oh, it's nothing, just a letter from your mom. We have to postpone the party, she-uh, went on a little trip." Confusion swept over Henry's features.

"Where did she go?" Emma folded the letter and stuffed it into her back pocket.

"Didn't say, she just said she was leaving for a little while. I'm sure she'll be back soon."

"She didn't even tell me..." The blonde eyed the envelope on her desk. The key, she thought.

"She just didn't want to pressure you or anything like that. Don't worry, she'll be back. Hey, kid, do you know what this opens?" Emma picked up the envelope and pulled the key out. Henry frowned.

"Yeah, it opens a room in the attic. My mom gave that to you?" The blonde gave an uneasy smile. Shit, he's going to know that I'm lying, Emma thought.

"Uh, yeah. Why?"

"She never let me go near that room, I've never even seen what's inside. Why would she give you the key?" She shrugged.

"Don't know, it was just at the bottom of the envelope. But, um, I gotta call the caterer and let her know the party's postponed, why don't you wait in the car? I promise I'll be out in few minutes." Henry looked at her quizzically before exiting the station. Dear god, she'd just lied to her child. But she couldn't tell him the truth, could she? No, that would be disastrous. She just needed to bide sometime, and then Emma would figure out what to do. God, how am I gonna break this to my parents ...

* * *

"She did what?!" Snow yelled, her face quickly changing an angry shade of red.

"This is just classic Regina." David fumed.

"After we actually agreed to be civil with her, I mean we were going to throw her freaking party, and she just leaves?!" The petite brunette angrily paced the kitchen of her apartment.

"I know! She just left without saying goodbye or anything! I can't fucking believe her, she's got some nerve just leaving like this," The blonde sighed, clearly furious. Snow and James shared a knowing look that went unnoticed by Emma.

"But we have to keep this under raps for Henry's sake."

"You didn't tell Henry? What does he think is going on?" David said as he took a seat at the counter.

"I just told him that she went away for awhile, I couldn't just tell him that his mother abandoned him. Not to mention that I have no idea where she went."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Snow leaned against the counter.

"How ... How are you?" Emma frowned.

"What do you mean 'how am I?' I'm fine, besides being pissed at her."

"Are you sure?" David shook his head at Snow. Emma looked between the two.

"What the hell is going on here?" Her father sighed.

"We just- we think that this may affect you more than you think, Emma." The blonde stared blankly at her parents.

"And why is that?"

"Because we know how you felt about her. We don't agree with it, but we understand." David gave a weak smile.

"Okay seriously, you guys are bugged. I don't "feel" anything for Regina, okay? That's just crazy. The only reason that we even speak at all is because she's Henry's other mom. Nothing more, nothing less." Snow approached her daughter, lightly touching her arm.

"Honey, it's alright. We know that you lo-" Emma pushed out of her mother's grasp.

"Look, there's nothing between me and Regina! I don't feel anything towards her, so just drop it, okay?!" The blonde sheriff huffed, affectively storming out of the apartment. She failed to notice the folded letter that slipped out of her pocket during her departure. Snow quirked an eyebrow at the small paper.

"Is everything okay? I heard the door slam." Henry called from the top of the stairs.

"Everything's fine, Emma just forgot something at the station." Henry nodded and shuffled back into his mother's room. David sighed.

"I can't imagine what Regina must've said to have Emma so riled up." Snow smiled, bending to pick up the folded letter.

"I think we're about to find out ..."

* * *

The blonde sheriff sat atop the steps of the former mayor's home, not caring for the pouring rain. In her fit of anger, Emma decided that it was best for her to try to calm down. So she'd started walking, but for some reason her sub-conscience had driven her to Regina's house.

And she could have gone inside, the sheriff knew the spare key lay under the welcome mat. Instead, Emma had opted to sit in the rain, hating the very woman who's step she sat on. She couldn't understand how Regina could just up and leave the way she had. Didn't I mean anything to her at all? And didn't Henry, Emma thought.

She said that she loved her, Regina Mills loved her and didn't even have the decency to say it to her face. She was a coward, Emma decided. A fucking coward who runs away from her problems. Sounds a lot like me, she thought angrily. Because in truth, Regina wasn't a coward at all. The former mayor had faced everything in her life head on. She was strong enough to keep going through every horror she was forced to live. And Emma had just constantly run away.

She was a fight or flight kind of girl, and more often than not she had chosen flight. And now, Regina was going to face her problem head on again, all the while Emma sat there hating the woman so urgently because she hasn't even said goodbye. But what was the point of wishing that Regina had told her the truth in person? Emma wouldn't have done anything, she would have fought every good feeling she had for the brunette until her dying day, just as she was doing now.

There's nothing to fight! I don't give a damn about Regina, she left us...The same thought continuously forced its way into her mind. Emma hugged her knees tightly against her chest, gently rocking herself back and forth. She's gone, she's really gone... Her face slowly crumpled into a watery frown.

The blonde's body shook with trepidation for a realization that she was not quite ready for. Everything seemed so illogical to her now, her heart started to race and she didn't know why. Swollen lungs constricted with closure that was never to come. An unsung love and vulnerable hatred played a sorrowful tune in the howling wind and biting rain. Emma swan would not cry. She sucked her bottom lip in between her teeth and bit down hard, nearly drawing blood.

Emma swan would not cry. There would never be a tear shed for the woman that had left her feeling so alone. No, instead there would be unrelenting hatred, and she would curse Regina's name until the day she took her last breath. That coward, that insufferable bitch, the sheriff thought sourly.

"Mom?" Henry strolled up the walk way to his old home with a large umbrella, wrapped in a warm black pea coat. It was much more comfortable than Emma's drenched jeans and long sleeved crew neck. The boy stopped directly in front of the woman, the umbrella now shielding them both from the down pour. Henry looked over his mother and realized that she wasn't as okay as she'd said. Her blonde hair fell in wet dripping clumps down her back. Soft skin was a frightening blend of alabaster with a rosy tinge on her small nose and cheeks. Little puffs of air escaped her now parted pink lips in ragged breaths. He couldn't decipher whether she shook from the cold or from despair. Her eyes looked an empty shade of black as they refused to meet his.

"She isn't coming back, is she?"

"No, she isn't." Emma's voice was small, much unlike her usual vibrato.

"I'm sad too. It's okay to be sad." The boy tried to reassure his mother.

"No, it isn't. Not for me," She whispered.

"Come on, lets get back home before Snow has a panic attack." Emma arose from the steps, putting on a poor facade of her usual self. Henry shook his head in a disappointed manner. He handed the umbrella to Emma and the pair set off towards their home. The sheriff pushed back her shoulders and held her head high as she walked. Emma Swan would not cry.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Greetings! So this chapter kind of explains a lot, so make sure you pay attention to it. if you don't understand something feel free to message me, i'll be happy to clear it up for you guys. anyways, i hope you all like this chapter & are enjoying the story so far! please review & let me know what you think.**

Regina steadily paced back and forth among the forest life, wringing her hands and worrying her full bottom lip. An hours time had passed from the moment the former mayor pulled out of her driveway that unfortunate morning. Her body began to tremble and she could feel the timber of magic coursing through her veins, sending surges of uncontrollable power into a heart that wasn't hers. Regina paused and took a deep breath. The brunette's body was becoming weaker by the second. Every breath was a battle in itself, a war not yet won. She leaned back on the hood of her car, eyelids sliding closed. This has to be worth it, she thought. "Princess?" A small voice called from behind the older woman. Regina's eyes peaked open as she turned to see who it was. The boy was small, she noticed, and he couldn't have been much older than Henry. His brown skin glowed in the early sunlight, wild eyes dancing with tendrils of green and grey. Raven curls fell around the boy's shoulders. "Who are you?" She asked, her voice pregnant with strain. Army green trousers fell loosely around his waist and billowed out down to his ankles. A cream vest accented his off white embroidered tunic, brown slippers encompassing his small feet.

"I am Raja. You are far sicker than we thought, princess."

"Yes, well that can't be helped much now, can it?" She replied offhandedly. A warm smile broadened the boys handsome features.

"Oh, but it can princess!"

"Why do you keep calling me princess?" Raja seemed confused.

"You are princess Regina, are you not?" What is he talking about, Regina thought. She was no princess.

"Are you the one that sent me the message?"

"Yes, and it is time for you to return home." Raja raised his right hand and whispered a foreign enchantment, opening a portal behind Regina. She blinked in surprise.

"How do you have the magic to simply open a portal at will?"

"I am a gypsy, you're highness, as are you. We have magic stronger than any other."

"But I can't do that ..."

"You only need try, highness, and anything you wish will come to be." Regina looked at the portal skeptically.

"Where will this take us?" Raja smiled again.

"Home." The boy raised his hand to Regina, silently asking her to trust him. Regina hesitantly complied. Together, the pair stepped into the portal. Goodbye, she thought as her body pulled into the portal.

* * *

Regina stumbled onto hard concrete, gasping for air in her dry lungs. Hazy black spots clouded her vision as she fought to maintain her consciousness. Troughs of raw magic shot through her heart. The witch clutched at her aching chest.

"Regina?" A loving voice called to her from above her position on the floor. Her head lazily bobbed up from the ground, pain etched over her features. Regina was met with a blurry woman's figure. A soft hand graced her cheek. The last thing she felt before slipping into unconsciousness was the warm press of smooth lips on her forehead, and a hushed reassurance.

* * *

Lithe fingers combed through Regina's shoulder length hair as she slowly drifted awake. The comforting scent of flowers hit her nose, eyes fluttering open. She soon realized that her head was in the lap of a woman, and her body shielded by covers. The witch quickly extracted herself from the woman and backed away against the metal headboard of the bed. Said woman wore a pleasant expression on her native shaded skin. Darker than black hair cascaded down the woman's back. She looked to be at least in her fifties, but gorgeous nonetheless. Her emerald eyes shined with love and adoration.

"Who are you?" Regina squeaked, voice small and spent. That certainly won't do, she thought to herself. The witch sat up straighter, hiding the pain from her face.

"Regina ..." The woman smiled. Her emerald green eyes brimming with tears.

"Who are you?" Regina asked again, now irritated.

"You know me, darling. Look within yourself, I am there." She stared hard into the woman's eyes, searching for an answer. Realization dawned on her like the morning sun.

"Are you ... You're Esmeralda?" The woman let the unshed tears fall.

"Yes." Regina frowned, still in shock.

"You're my mother?"

"Yes ..." A watery smile graced Esmeralda's lips. Tears of her own now freely falling down Regina's cheeks.

"Mother ..."

"Oh, Regina, I'm so sorry." Esmeralda pulled her long lost daughter into her arms, cradling her head in her bosom. Choked sobs escaped from Regina's throat. New found release rippled through the broken woman. After all of those years of hurt and abandon, hope had crept its way back into her.

"Shhh, it's alright. I've got you now, and I'm never letting you go again." The crying brunette clutched onto her mother's tunic for dear life.

"I found you ..." Esmeralda pressed a delicate kiss to Regina's forehead, running her fingers through her daughter's soft hair.

"I know, and I'm so proud of you." Regina sobbed harder at her mother's words. In all her life, no one had ever been proud of her. And now, this woman with so much affection was so very proud of her, so very proud of Regina. She hadn't done anything at all, and Esmeralda was still proud of her. This is what it feels like to have a mother, she thought. Did she deserve it? After all she had done, did Regina really deserve this sweet retribution? She didn't know, and she didn't care. This was her mother, and no one was going to take her away. Her hard sobs died down to quiet whimpers.

"I'm so happy to have you with me, my love. It's been so long since I held you last. You were just a baby, still my little princess. You used to lay on my chest and listen to my heartbeat. I would sing to you, old hymns of our people. It used to make you so happy, right before you would fall asleep. Your little tiny hands would hold onto my hair all night, I think you were afraid that I would disappear if you didn't ... You were such a precious little baby. You're father and I adored you so much. He used to stand over your bassinet and just stare at you while you slept. The light of his life, he would call you. I wish that he was alive to see you now, you would've loved each other so much ..."

"When did he pass away?"

"He was killed trying to save you from the queen of hearts. She ripped his heart out and crushed it, and I was too late to save him."

"He didn't have magic?"

"Oh no, you're father was a human. The only magic Phoebus possessed was his love for us."

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't be. You're father was a strong and brave man, and he loved you dearly. His only regret was that he couldn't stop her from taking you. Phoebus would have died for you a million times if it meant that you would be safe." Regina pulled herself from her mother's grasp, staring deeply into her eyes.

"Why didn't you come for me? Didn't you love me?"

"Of course I do, Regina. I love you more than anything in this world or any other. And I wanted to get you back, I tried for years, but I couldn't. When the queen took you from me, she took out your heart and replaced it with Alice's. She hid it somewhere undetectable, even from Gypsy magic. Gypsies can only find those who they are connected to, by their hearts. And because you're heart was no longer in you, I had no way of finding you. The queen knew that when she took you."

"So then how did you know that I was in Storybrooke?"

"I didn't. Since the day you were stolen from me I had been sending gypsies to different worlds, searching for you. And about a month ago, Raja caught word of the Queen's movement to a foreign world, Earth, with Captain Hook. I sent him after her, and he found out that you were the child that the Queen stole. My child." Regina nodded.

"And were you the one sent me the dreams? The dreams of who I really am?"

"Yes, it was the only way that I could connect with you without the Queen knowing." The witch shook her head.

"You shouldn't have risked so much just for me."

"You are my daughter, Regina. I would've gone through seven hells to save you."

"I don't deserve your love. There are things that I've done-"

"Oh hush, child. I know of the things that you've done. I know that you were the Evil Queen, and I know that you have killed and destroyed lives. I also know why you did all that you have. And if I had been a better mother, none of those things would have happened." Regina looked on at her mother with appall and admiration.

"How can you say that? I've done such horrible things, things that should not be so easily forgiven!"

"Yes, you have done horrible things Regina. But if I had been with you on the day that you were stolen like I should have been, none of that would have happened. You would have grown up loved and nurtured, and Phoebus would still be here."

"What are you talking about?"

"I was supposed to be watching you, but I had grown sick of staying in the palace so I left to go for a ride. But there were guards at your door, so I figured you would be alright. but I was foolish, and because of my mistake I lost my family, and you had to suffer for it you're entire life."

"I will not throw the blame on you for the things that I myself have done." Esmeralda smiled weakly.

"I know, because you're so strong. That's why I'll always be proud of you."

"Thank you, mother." Esmeralda merely smiled in response.

"The queen must know by now that I'm gone. She'll come after me." Esmeralda straightened her back, a fierce expression now present on her face.

"And we will be ready for her."

"But how? I'm barely able to walk with this heart in me."

"You needn't worry, my love. My father and I have already forged a plan together that will ensure you're well being."

"You're father?"

"Yes, King Solomon of the gypsies. He is your grandfather."

"Of course. What is this plan?"

"We will extract your old self from Alice's heart." Regina frowned.

"The Evil Queen?"

"Yes. "

"No, we can't do that. It's too dangerous. She could side with my-um, Cora."

"It is the only way that we can keep you alive and allow you to harvest you're gypsy magic."

"What do you mean 'gypsy' magic?"

"Because of the evil that still resides in Alice's heart, you can't harvest your true magic. Gypsy magic is pure, despite common tales. No evil can harvest our magic, so you must make amends with your old self."

"And if I do, what happens to Alice's heart?"

"It will be split between the two of you. The magic inside will not have the same affects because it wouldn't all be in one body."

"But then that side of me would have more magic than I did before, she could kill me."

"That is why you must make amends with her. Show her that evil is not the only way, and she will be able to live in peace with you."

"So let's say that I do make amends with her, we can't just keep Alice's heart forever. What would happen to it?"

"We'll use it to awaken the Saints of Solomon."

"And who are they?"

"The greatest army that any battle has ever seen. They were you're great, great grandfather's army."

"And who was it that put them to rest?"

"Merlin, an old wizard of the west. His master, Yen Sid, feared that the gypsies would take siege on all of the worlds and lands, so he used all of his power to put them to rest. He was one of the greatest wizard of all the ages, second only to his master."

"This isn't making any sense. If he was the greatest wizard of all time, what makes you think that this heart inside of me can awake this army?"

"You still don't understand, Regina. That isn't just some heart inside of you, it is a heart belonging to one of the seven princesses of this universe. Cora stole you because her princess, Alice, was born a stillborn. Her heart couldn't beat unless it had the strongest magic of all, our magic. The seven princesses have the strongest hearts of all the universe. If one of them had a heart full of gypsy magic, they could do anything they wanted, destroy whole worlds."

"But you said yourself that evil can't harvest gypsy magic!"

"Yes, no _regular_ being can be evil and harvest gypsy magic. But the seven princesses are anything but regular. The unnamed gods made them the keys to the universe, so they are special. They possess abilities that even they don't know of. And only the champions of the seven princesses, the ones that brought them into their worlds, which are their mothers, can take their hearts. The reason why it's so hard for you to carry Alice's heart is because it's too strong for you. That's why it's killing you."

"Who are these 'seven princesses'? What makes me any different from one of them?" Regina sneered, bitter jealousy evident in her voice.

"They're names are Alice, Jasmine, Belle, Cinderella, Aurora, Pocahontas, and Snow White."

"Snow White?! _Snow White?! _Of course, this is just perfect! That girl was handed her life on a silver platter! What makes her any better than me?!" Esmeralda placed a comforting hand on her daughter's shoulder.

"She is not better, Regina. She is just different. If the unnamed Gods made you one of the seven, no being in all of the worlds would be able to face you. They could not give such strength to their creations. We gypsies have our own magic. It is the strongest because of it's natural purity. Once you have it, you will be the strongest Queen that the worlds will ever know."

"I was already a strong queen, I don't want to be that again. That's why I don't want to separate from the Evil Queen."

"But if we split the heart between two of you, it will give you a much better time period to do all that you must before we find your heart."

"You mean awakening the army?"

"Yes, with them we will be unstoppable. Even Cora with her army of enchanted cards won't be able to stop us. Once we defeat her, we can get your heart back. But first, you must harvest your gypsy magic and awaken our army. You will lead them in battle." Regina snorted bitterly.

"You make me sound like some kind of savior, Mother." Like Emma, she thought.

"That is exactly what you are, Regina." She laughed half heartedly.

"You certainly don't know me if you think that I'm your savior." Esmeralda looked down upon her daughter, feeling insulted.

"You are Regina Loren de Chateaupers, daughter of Queen Esmeralda de Chateaupers and Lord Phoebus de Chateaupers, granddaughter of King Solomon le Chantefleurie III. You are the savior and heir to the throne of the gypsies. I know exactly who you are, Regina." Regina stood unsteadily from the vast bed, hands balled into fists and nostrils flaring wildly.

"You will not sit here and proceed to tell me who I must be! I am no one's savior, _Esmeralda_. Not yours, and not your people's." Esmeralda, now arisen from the bed, stood in front of her daughter.

"I am not telling you who you must be, Regina. I am telling you who you were born to be. I realize that this is a lot to take in, but you need to know the truth. We do not have any time left to pretend that the circumstances are anything other than what they are. You are our savior, whether you wish to be or not. It is your choice to decide what it is that you will do, as it has always been your choice. Do not further yourself into damnation, Regina. Do not turn your back on your people, because if you do, I will not be able to save you." Regina clenched her jaw, her face contorting into a black mask of anger and hatred.

"You didn't save me before, what makes you think that I need you now?" The older woman visibly saddened at her daughter's harsh words.

"Figure out who your enemy is, Regina, because right now you're pushing away the wrong people." The queen straightened herself and exited the room, leaving Regina standing there angry and confused.


End file.
